Our problems in life begin when we become angry, resentful, and upset. When we are angry--emotion clouds reason and we say or do the wrong things.
Many of us would like to, but we don’t know how to. We think, for example, that we should be nice to people by trying to be nice (which produces more tension), or by becoming a people pleaser to avoid being upset. But this only tempts others to take advantage. We think we must try to not be upset, but trying is an act of will that only adds more tension, repression, and guaranteed frustration when we become upset again.